Second Post

Sorry if the last post was unclear.  That asshole outside of Nordstrom's was referring to my child as the potential retard, not my wife.  And I learned recently that until I was three years old, my own parents thought I was retarded.  True story.  ask them.  Ah, the great Circle of Life.

So I'm twenty four hours into this blogging thing, and I have my first fan, Laura, who has an amazing hilarious beautiful touching blog, but I'm not sure how to post a link so look for "my life is a piece of cake" at blogger.com.  

You other viewers need to understand what a pivotal role Laura played in my life.  You see, if there was one piece of advice I could pass on to men thinking of becoming a full time dad, it would be this:  "Get Ready To Be Alone."  Because a funny thing happens when you become a full time dad.  (I think I'll type FTD from now on, unless I get a cease and desist from the flower people).  What happens?  You become invisible.  Had I know this, I would have taken more advantage of this power for my own selfish gains, but I was too tired to realize the upside.  But I'm serious.  Man takes child to park, man gets ignored by every woman with child at park.

You have to realize, I'm a pretty non-threatening type of human.  No visible scars, no tattoos, piercings, or brandings.  I wear glasses.  I look a little like Adam Sandler's uncle.  I'm pushing a stroller filled with sand toys, a diaper bag, and that glazed look of someone who's had four hours of sleep for a year.  I'm at the park, playing with my child.  And I'm trying to let it not get to me, but day after day after day, no matter where I go, no matter which park, it's the same story.  I understand that there is a few million years of evolution at work here, but does it have to go this far?   This really happened:  I've been at the park with my daughter, and we're playing (by ourselves of course) and there's a mother there with her child, roughly the same age.  I am completely invisible.  Another mother approaches with child.  First mom introduces herself to second mom, introduces child, then invites second mom to picnic with them.  These women were not friends, they did not know each other prior to this encounter.  So they go off, and have a nice picnic, and my daughter and I, well, now we have the park to ourselves again.  Like I said, I get it.  Strange man, protective mother, it's perfectly natural.  If I were alone.  But I'm there with my daughter.  I have the tell-tale stains from said daughter's various coughs and sneezes and spills on my clothes.  But I now have the power of invisibility, so it's just the two of us.

This went on for about... two years.  And then one day, playing at a park, there's this mother with her kids, and she's with a group of other mothers and their kids.  I know better, so I'm just playing with Samantha on the other side of the sandbox. (Maybe that should be the title of the blog)  And the most amazing thing happens.  She waves to me and says hi.  Of course, my first reaction was look behind me.  Surely she meant someone else.  But no, she was talking to ME.  She must have smelled the desperation on me.  But we started talking,  slowly I remembered how to have a conversation with a grown up, and she became a great friend to me, as well as a source of strength and inspiration.  As I've been a lurker on her blog for years, now it's time to join hers officially as well.  and so should you.